Where is YOUR line?
You know.. the line that you set to let people know what is ok or not ok. Yes, I mean your BOUNDARY.
Have you heard much about boundaries before? Boundaries are something that often comes up in therapy sessions and people often don’t seem to know much about them.
Boundaries can be identified as imaginary lines that are set. They may be imaginary but they are very real! Think of your “bubble” or space. Different people can move into your space where other people you need at an arm’s length.. or longer! When you know your comfort level, it is easier to set the boundary of what you need.
Boundaries are a form of self care. They help us to build comfort and trust. If you are finding people are constantly annoying, frustrating, exhausting or taking advantage of us, there is likely a boundary that is not on place.
Sometimes those “lines” are not clearly stated. Sometimes others push and we don’t enforce those lines. Either way, we know that something is off when we feel irritation. Boundaries help US create trust and safety.
If other people are NOT liking the boundaries you set, that is a reflection of them. Do they not respect you? Do they tend to get what they want if they violate your boundary? Or do you feel fear or some other emotion around the boundary you set? Sometimes we might be fearful that a person will respond in a way that will be uncomfortable- either for them or for ourselves. We might fear a loss of relationship or creating disappointment.
However, when we keep in alignment with God and His word and who He says we are, we MUST look at boundaries and being faithful in setting boundaries. Boundaries are healthy and establish safety.
How are YOU with boundaries? Did you grow up setting boundaries? Or are boundaries a new concept for you?
Remember, if there is a discomfort around a boundary, it may not be clear enough. For you, and likely not the person or situation that boundary is for. It can take some practice and adjustment to find what works but setting good boundaries is self-care and can be empowering, not to mention life-giving!
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”— Proverbs 4:23