Today is a dreary, dark and rainy day here in the Southern parts of Oregon. Not the best day for a birthday.
Not to mention that the past week has been filled with sleepless nights and a LOT of coughing. Then, of course, last night we had a puker. Figures.
Another year, another year older. I am not impressed. I have goals that I have not accomplished. I have projects and books not completed. I am working hard to get my health back on track. Yet this week, I have felt like Failure. Yes, a Capital F failure.
Sometimes that is how mom life goes. Goals and things that are not always on my time frame. I mean, those little humans require attention and care and all. Sometimes I feel bad that I want my own time. I feel selfish. Yet, I also want sleep. I want to function and feel human and not give up my life and goals completely. Sometimes it feels like all or nothing. Lately, it feels like nothing.
My birthday has been sitting near my little sickie while being a dull mombie all day. Doing NOTHING. At. All. Feeling like the day is wasting away and the possibly fun that I could have had is now a distant glimpse of what my day could have been. All I wanted for my birthday was time with my husband and time at the gym. Self care. Neither happened. It is now dinner time and nothing. *Sigh*
The reality, mom life is HARD. Some days are discouraging. It is a battle to keep going and keep the enemy from stealing the joy. Especially when there is not always much joy to begin with.
But, I am alive and breathing and have a beautiful family that are amazing. When they are not puking.
I have oils and healthy tools. I have knowledge and strength to survive this season, however long. As long as I can get a night of sleep, I will keep on truckin'.
What do you do when you are at the end of you, struggling to keep on?