The Rolling Hills (of Grief)

It has been 12 years. 

I can remember it clearly. I was on my way to work, with the kiddo in the backseat when I answered that call. Even though it has been 12 years, it feels deeper, bigger, and more raw. 

The past few months, I have been noticing a lot more emotion and processing of emotion in my life. I am making connections and seeing "hurts" and am understanding those "triggers" more that have been relevant in my life. I am not sure why these feelings are suddenly coming up, but healing is good, right? Processing is good. 

So I keep telling myself. 

It IS good. Don't get me wrong. 

But is it rough. Taxing. Draining. 

Healing takes time and can be a little annoying, in all honesty. But here we are. 

Back to Jan 24. When that phone call came in. My dad passed in a hospital in Florida, hundred of miles from home. My whole world changed in that brief moment. 

For months, I had to help my mom process the grief, plan, purge, and deal with all the estate things that were then put into motion. I felt like there was a lot of responsibility that was now on my shoulders. While I felt capable and competent, it was a lot. to manage. My daughter was six, or maybe just barely turned 7 the day before the call that shook me. 

Since it has been 12 years from my father's death, and 3 years since my mom's, I think I am finally able to breathe and process. I am not having to hold and carry all the emotions and finally process and release all that I have been holding for who knows how long. 

Grief is always an ebb and flow. Often we think that grief is for a few months, maybe a few years. But true grief can be for a lifetime. It just changes and looks different. It is always a process and an opportunity to allow growth. Emotional processing. Healing. 

What has your experience been with grief? 

Word... (of the year)

Happy New Year! 

Can you believe that it is already almost mid-January?! It seems like time is just flying by.... 
I wanted to stop and check in! And encourage you to find your WORD (or THEME) of the year, if you have not already! 

Why might you want to still participate? Well, we have the choice to speak life or death into our world. Picking a word is like a mantra to be intentional about what we are speaking over ourselves. What if you allow this word to profess over your life for an entire year?! Can you see the potential for growth and transformation with this practice? 

What is ONE word that if you professed this year might change your heart? Provide growth and added depth? 

Words contain energy, imagery and meaning that our hearts and souls get excited about, and that brings out transformation. 

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who 
love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

Here are 4 Reasons to Pick a Word of the Year: 
1. It brings focus and clarity to your goals 
2. It becomes a simple mantra to guide you. 
3. It replaces the focus from what is broken to what is possible
4. It is forward thinking.

I encourage you to pray about it and ask God to reveal to you what your ONE word is. 

Write a list of all words that are calling out to you. Don't overthink, just jot down a list of any word that inspires you to give you direction. You can often find ways where certain words might even encompass another word or three on the list. Notice any recurring themes that stand out and let the word find you... 

Once you have your ONE word, put it to use. Write it down. Journal, scrapbook, post-it notes. MAKE IT VISIBLE. Keep it at the forefront of your daily life. Find your word (or similar words) in the Bible. Any verses that tie in will help you anchor this word for the year. Create a reading list of books to support your learning and growth. Find quotes and refer to them regularly. And create a vision board! How will it look at the end of the year if you are embracing this word for you? 

I would love it if you commented below with your ONE word for the year! 
In my next post, I will be sharing more on my word for 2023... 

Let's prepare to embrace our word and seal the year with a prayer: 
Heavenly Father, we lean into your Word and seek your heart as we prepare for this new year. Please give us guidance, wisdom, knowledge and understanding around our ONE word and how we need to apply this word in our life in the upcoming year. May our minds and hearts be blessed with what you have to offer in this new year and season and help us apply our word to grow us, strengthen us and draw us closer to you. Speaking love over us, in His Name, AMEN. 


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